


Hearts like fire

by Lilly0



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band), Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 23:43:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10864581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilly0/pseuds/Lilly0
Summary: Kame wishes it wouldn't only be sex between them. But that's all there is, right?





	Hearts like fire

**Author's Note:**

> Written for ladyc2 for her wish meme list. Thanks for providing me with the opportunity to write for another fandom again :D

Kame stretches his neck when he feels eager fingers wandering over his neck, touching his shoulders. The fingers leave burning traces on his skin, like something sets him on fire. He still feels the touch, even when the fingers already continue their path, now brushing over his stomach and feeling his flexing muscles.

Ryo is good at that, Kame thinks, he is good at making someone actually believe he cares for them and likes them, although it’s just sex, nothing more.

Still Kame finds himself moving into Ryo’s touches, craving and longing for them, and giving back as much as he can. Probably giving too much, because there are no feelings involved. Just sex. You are so stupid, Kamenashi, for falling in love with someone you merely have a loose friendship and a little more with.

~~~

It started three months ago when Kame’s best friend married. It’s not like Kame is envious or anything, but on that specific evening there were only couples and friends and family members with children. He was the only single one. It’s not like he minds being single, but on that evening he felt like he is actually missing something out, like his life is more bland than he would ever admit it is.

What does all the money and fame give him if he can’t even have the most simplest of things, namely someone to share it with.

That’s why he went out on the same evening after the marriage reception. He ended up in a bar, with three tequila, a disgustingly drooling guy hitting on him and Ryo suddenly appearing out of nowhere and saving his ass from this creep.

~~~

Kame is awake first in the morning, his eyes pinned to Ryo’s back now. Ryo has smooth skin. Most of his friends and co-workers from the agency and in general most of his friends had acne prone skin. Ryo hadn’t. Always been blessed by a clear skin. He was one of these lucky guys without any acne or his skin breaking out in any way. His skin was smooth as a teen, and it’s still smooth now. He shows traces of aging now, little wrinkles, but Kame likes that about him. He likes how manly Ryo is despite being rather fragile in body form. Kame himself feels rather boyish next to him, but when he is with Ryo, he feels like Ryo actually likes that about him.

Ryo stirs under the blanket, turning around and blushing slightly. “You are staring,” he grumbles, voice hoarse. He sits up, grabbing his blanket and wrapping it around his hips before he pats to the bathroom.

When he opens the door Ryo’s dog basically storms into it and jumps on his bed. Kame giggles when a wet tongue starts drooling on his shoulder and face, while he tries to push the cute monster away.

Ryo comes back into the room, eying them curiously, his toothbrush in his mouth. He giggles. “You are so cute,” he grins.

Kame blinks. Who? He? No, he probably means his dog.

~~~

Ueda eyes the five types of cupcakes and ten varieties of cookies sceptically. “Not that I’m not thankful but why again do I need to try all of them?”

“I need to know which one is the best,” Kame states.

Ueda blinks. “What for?”

“I need it for Ryo-kun.”

“Nishikido?” Ueda’s confusion seems to grow. “Does he celebrate his birthday?”

Kame laughs. “No, of course not, silly. His birthday is in November!”

“Oh, I apologize for not knowing that,” Ueda replies dryly. “It’s almost like a national holiday, so everyone is supposed to know it, right?”

“Right.”

Ueda blinks. “You know I’m making fun of you, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do, I just chose to ignore it,” Kame says dryly, looking at Ueda helplessly. “Tell me which one is the best! I don’t know, I can’t decide, but it needs to be good.”

Ueda looks at him like he is afraid Kame will have a mental breakdown soon while he bites into the first piece of cookie. He doesn’t say much, just chews, bites, takes the next cookie or cupcake and chews again. When he is finished, he points at the cookies with cinnamon and the cupcake with banana and mint. “All of them are great, but I think Nishikido-kun will like these the most.” He eyes Kame carefully. “Why is this so important, Kazu?”

“It’s not important,” Kame states, because seriously, it _is_ not important. It _should_ not be important. He blushes.

“What is there between the both of you?” Ueda inquires further.

“Nothing,” Kame tilts his head and digs into his cupcake with his fork. “Nothing. We are just friends, I guess.” He tries to hide the miserable tone in his voice, because… are they? Are they actually friends?

“Since when do you hang out?”

“A few weeks,” Kame answers casually.

“So, you are having sex,” Ueda states.

Kame almost drops both the cup of coffee in his hands and the plate with his cherished cakes and cookies. “What?” he mumbles, before laughing hysterically. “Jeez, Tatsuya, having a good day today, what?” He nudges him with his elbows. “Didn’t sleep enough that you are seeing ghosts? I-“

“So, that’s a yes,” Ueda says and nods knowingly. “After all this time you really think I can’t look through you,” he continues with a smug grin. “So, you are a pair now?”

Kame lets out a frustrated sigh, letting his head hang down. “It’s just sex. It’s not like we are in love. We aren’t even friends.”

Ueda blinks. “You are totally in love though, aren’t you?”

Kame blushes deeply, trying to cover it by a casual chuckle. “Don’t be silly, Tat-chan, I’m old enough to have sex without having to be in love. You know-“

“You are the worst liar in the universe,” Ueda interrupts him bluntly. “But cute. Why don’t you tell him you don’t want to have casual sex? Say you want a relationship or try dating. What’s the problem?”

Kame blushes at the thought of him having to approach Ryo and actually tell him how he feels. “I can’t do that,” Kame stutters. “What if he doesn’t like me?”

“Well, but isn’t it worse to continue this, until you are so deeply involved that you will be majorly hurt at one point?”

Kame doesn’t tell Ueda that he will already be majorly hurt at this point, but he is right, the deeper he gets involved the more painful it will be. Maybe he should just… stop this and stop meeting Ryo entirely? Ryo just wants sex from him after all, why embarrassing the both of them by confessing?

~~~

If he is honest, he will admit that he does feel really ashamed by the way he handles things. He can’t tell it into Ryo’s face that he wants to quit their arrangement. Not when Ryo eats the cinnamon cookies with such a happy face.

“They are so delicious,” he breaths out, and giggles before pulling Kame into his arms.

And Kame doesn’t have the nerves to tell him he wants to quit when he settles down on Ryo’s lap and wraps his arms around his neck, surging forward to kiss him heatedly. If he is honest, he will admit that he simply wants to lie in Ryo’s arms once again, before never seeing him again. He is selfish like that, unfortunately, but at least he doesn’t mean anything to Ryo, so it probably won’t matter to him if they have sex once more.

He wants to feel Ryo’s hands on his body once more, wants to feel the warmth in his belly that grows into something more powerful when he feels Ryo inside him. He just can’t let go when he looks into Ryo’s eyes.

However, he still does feel very low for what he does. He just leaves before Ryo wakes up, writes him a message on line, and just hopes that Ryo will let it slide and forget about him.

~~~

It’s 10 AM when the message in their chat is marked as read. Kame has been staring at his phone frantically, his heart beating when he sees that Ryo finally saw it. He doesn’t write back though, and Kame isn’t sure if he should feel sad or relieved now. Or miserable. It’s a mixture out of all three emotions, but mostly he feels miserable.

~~~

Ryo doesn’t answer the whole day. He also doesn’t answer the next day. It’s Saturday, and the only message Kame receives is from Nakamaru. _Care for a drink?_

Kame cares for a drink immediately, he might be able to drown his sorrow then, and just get so drunk that he might forget everything that happened the last weeks. Perfect.

“Wow,” Nakamaru states, when Kame empties his fifth vodka lemon within half an hour. “Slow down. Guess I should refrain from the question but: How were you doing?”

“Shit. I was doing horribly,” Kame slurs.

“Yeah, well…” Nakamaru seems to feel wary and nervous. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” Kame grumbles. “It’s not your fault that I had a sex relationship.”

“I feel like I should have watched out more for you,” Nakamaru admits, and Kame only remotely wonders why he isn’t surprised by his sex-relationship confession. A far corner of his mind tells him that Ueda probably told him to have an eye on Kame.

“The last year was really shit,” he breaths out.

Nakamaru nods. “Yes,” he says quietly, before squeezing Kame’s arm. “But we’ll be there for each other, always, okay? You can always rely on Tat-chan and me.”

Kame smiles and nods.

“So, could you please stop emptying drinks?” Nakamaru begs. “Let’s go and eat something instead. Last thing I want you is to drink yourself into coma.”

Kame sighs, feeling embarrassed about his break-down. He isn’t fifteen anymore. “You are right,” he states. “Let’s grab us a hamburger somewhere.”

This is how grown-up handle their problems.

~~~

Kame still feels a bit dizzy when he comes home. The hamburger helped him to feel better, but he drank too much in a too short time. Not wanting to worry Nakamaru though, he tried his best to sober up by drinking quite some water. He is just glad to be able to come home though and just lie down and relax.

The last thing he expected though is to see that the lights in his apartments are turned on. His heart beats faster, damn it, he knows he switched everything off, and he locked the door… Why is the door open?

He halts in his steps. Can’t be. It just can’t be. It’s impossible. Why? Why? FUCKING WHY!?

He lets his jacket and bag drop down and slips out of his shoes before going into his kitchen. Ryo is leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed. He has a bottle with beer next to him, and apparently cooked some soup. It’s hard to read his expression, which says a lot, because Ryo is an open book normally, but at the moment Kame’s heart beats too fast for him to form a coherent thought.

“You are here,” he stutters. Ryo has a key to his apartment. He gave it to him a month ago so that they could meet. How could he even forget that?

“I never wanted to come here again,” Ryo huffs angrily. “Walking out on me after sleeping with me and then breaking up via line is a pretty shitty move. But in the end I just wanted to know why.”

Kame sits down on the kitchen chair. “I couldn’t tell you into your face,” he answers honestly, his heart clenching even by looking at Ryo.

“What? That you don’t want to meet me anymore?”

“No, I still want to meet you,” Kame huffs before he can stop himself. Damn it, why is Ryo even here and why is he so pissed? Fine, it wasn’t a great move to tell him via chat, but still… it’s not like Ryo even cares! Is it some weird pride-thing? “But I don’t want to be a fucking trophy!”

“Ah,” Ryo states, blinking a few times. “No, don’t get it. What?”

Kame lets out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t want to sleep with someone who doesn’t feel anything for me.”

“Ah,” Ryo makes, and this time he apparently understood. He tilts his head, a frown on his face. “So… does that mean you have feelings for me?”

Kame blushes, damn it, he let his guard down. “I don’t expect anything from you,” he says hastily. “I just wanted us to stop before I… well…”

Ryo buries his head in his hands, his body shaking. For a moment Kame is scared that he is losing his mind, but then Ryo suddenly chuckles. “God, are we stupid.”

Kame blinks. “We? What… who?”

“I don’t like to sleep with someone who doesn’t like me either,” Ryo states bluntly. “I’ve had tons of one-night stands. I’m over that phase.”

Kame stares at Ryo blankly. “But you never said anything,” he stutters. “You just saved me from that idiot in the bar, and then we went home to your place, and suddenly made out.”

“Didn’t want to scare you away.” Ryo blushes, looking embarrassed all of a sudden. “I’ve had a crush on you when you still were all into Jin. So, back then I kind of let you go in my mind and moved on. Never expected that we would have a chance.”

“So,” Kame stares at Ryo for what feels like minutes. Ryo doesn’t move or say anything either. “We both don’t want this to stop?”

Ryo nods.

“And we both don’t want to be sex buddies?”

Again a nod.

“I’m boyfriend-material,” Kame says all of a sudden. This time ready to be all honest. “I’m not a player, I hate going out, I don’t even have one-night-stands normally. I’m only dating seriously. I-“

“I know,” Ryo says quietly. “Which is why I had my hopes up high to be honest. When you disappeared out of my apartment yesterday and just wrote me a stupid message, I was seriously shocked, and ready to just delete your contacts out of my phone.”

“Good you didn’t do it,” Kame says with a hoarse voice.

“Pi stopped me from doing it,” Ryo states. “Said you would never do something like that. And that something might be awfully wrong.”

Kame reaches out his hand, his heart beating in relief when Ryo approaches him. “Pi is a good friend.”

Ryo nods, taking Kame’s hand and squeezing it. “Yes,” he says with a smile.

“Keep the key,” Kame licks over his lips nervously.

“I will.”


End file.
